Anonymous Confessions

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  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "So I had a confession go up in the last postings about some stuff, and I talked about my exgirlfriend. Now I know why she was asking me that stuff and I don't know if it is any better. She still loves me, and I still love her but she has a boyfriend. I'm not completely sure if she is going to break up with him though. She seems to not want to be with him and the way she talks to me most of the time is the same way she talked to me when we were dating. I don't know what I am doing. I can see that the life I want with her is possible again, and I want it to happen, but knowing that she has a boyfriend hurts me, a lot. It is like we are back together but not quite and it seems so weird to me, I am willing to wait for her no matter how long it takes because for the last two years every time I have kissed a girl I was thinking about her, when I lay down in bed at night I wish she was laying next to me and it hurts. It hurts so much to almost have the thing I have been dreaming of for so long so close but so far away. It hurts to feel all of these things but talking to her makes me happier than I have been since I broke up with her. I never stopped loving her, breaking up with her was the biggest mistake of my life, it was stupid, I have known that since it happened. I want her to be happy and she isn't happy with her boyfriend, she is happy when she talks to me though, I feel like this should be simpler, I understand why she hasn't broken up with him yet, she is scared to. I know that this is all very hard for her, but it is hard for me too. It is hard for me to know that she isn't happy, it is hard for me to know that she might kiss somebody other than me tomorrow. I am out of my depth here and it PIZZZAA hurts a lot, but I am still happy when I think about her and all that has happened in the last couple days. I mean PIZZZAA what do I even do at this point, I mean we love each other, I love her with every bit of love I have and I just don't know what I'm doing."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • Gara_the_engineerGara_the_engineer In a log house at the edge of the forestPosts: 608 ✭✭✭

    "So I had a confession go up in the last postings about some stuff, and I talked about my exgirlfriend. Now I know why she was asking me that stuff and I don't know if it is any better. She still loves me, and I still love her but she has a boyfriend. I'm not completely sure if she is going to break up with him though. She seems to not want to be with him and the way she talks to me most of the time is the same way she talked to me when we were dating. I don't know what I am doing. I can see that the life I want with her is possible again, and I want it to happen, but knowing that she has a boyfriend hurts me, a lot. It is like we are back together but not quite and it seems so weird to me, I am willing to wait for her no matter how long it takes because for the last two years every time I have kissed a girl I was thinking about her, when I lay down in bed at night I wish she was laying next to me and it hurts. It hurts so much to almost have the thing I have been dreaming of for so long so close but so far away. It hurts to feel all of these things but talking to her makes me happier than I have been since I broke up with her. I never stopped loving her, breaking up with her was the biggest mistake of my life, it was stupid, I have known that since it happened. I want her to be happy and she isn't happy with her boyfriend, she is happy when she talks to me though, I feel like this should be simpler, I understand why she hasn't broken up with him yet, she is scared to. I know that this is all very hard for her, but it is hard for me too. It is hard for me to know that she isn't happy, it is hard for me to know that she might kiss somebody other than me tomorrow. I am out of my depth here and it PIZZZAA hurts a lot, but I am still happy when I think about her and all that has happened in the last couple days. I mean PIZZZAA what do I even do at this point, I mean we love each other, I love her with every bit of love I have and I just don't know what I'm doing."

    It sounds like a tough situation for you to be in, but hopefully you may give her the strength to leave that relationship if she wants to. She may need long time to come to that point, though. I had an ex whom I disliked a long time and it didn't end until he broke up with me because he felt that I never talked to him... I had just been too afraid of hurting his feelings (stupid, I know, because I didn't even like him) and didn't want the awkwardness of having to tell him I wanted to break up. So maybe she'll need time or courage or motivation or whatever before she'll end that relationship, in spite of the fact that she already doesn't seem to want to be with him.

    The thing you mentioned in your previous confession, about feeling that nothing you'd have to say would be important enough to bother her about: sometimes, that kind of things are needed in a friendship. With some people, you'd just wonder why they're contacting you for such unimportant stuff, but with others, you get happy just to get a message almost no matter what they say. Me and one of my best friends have sent messages of the importance level "gah, it's too hot in the sun" or "ice cream! nomnom!" as well as "how are you doing?" messages to start a conversation. With him, and the few other close friends I have, I just want to keep in touch no matter how uninteresting our lives may be at the moment. I understand your hesitation of messaging her, there are so many messages that I haven't sent because I felt that they were just boring and stupid, not wanting to bother my friend. But at the same time, I love to get messages from them also when they don't have anything more interesting to say.
    The meaning of life is to give life a meaning
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "@Gara_the_engineer when I am having troubles I often post in Anonymous Confessions, and just about every time either you or @RialVestro has responded. You two have helped me through some of the most confusing times I have had in the last couple years, without even knowing who I was. People like you guys are the greatest, you both have fought to decrease the worldsuck in my life and I can't thank you enough for that."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • MellyVKMellyVK Chepstow, WalesPosts: 25
    Oh now I like this forum thread. New title: THINGS TO READ AT WORK, THE ANON CONFESSION. :P
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I think I'm still in love with my ex. I've recently started consistently talking to him again and it's brought back so many amazing feelings that I can't even begin to explain and I think that he feels the connection again too. Talking to him again has made me the happiest I've felt in months, but also the saddest. I can't help but think about every possible terrible thing that may happen if I fully open myself up to him again and I'm just torn between trying to be with him or trying to remain friends (which is not something I can do very well considering how I strongly I feel about him). I could have easily seen myself marrying him one day and the way we broke up a few years ago was not up to either of us, so I haven't had much closure and the feelings for him have stuck with me. It would be an easier decision if I didn't already have a boyfriend. I've been dating this guy for a year and a half and I love him to death. He's the most caring and amazing guy I have ever met and I don't know where I would be without him but he's also very manipulative at times and I often get scared he's going to physically hurt me again. He makes me crazy happy most of the time I'm around him but I don't know that I can stay with him. My ex currently lives in another state (so I wouldn't be able to be physically with him for another few years) but my boyfriend is here and I'm not sure if I want to wait that long for happiness or stay in the relationship I'm currently in."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I had sex with a girl on summer camp and nobody else knows. I'm worried that she's gonna say something to her mom who is say something to my mom."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • Gara_the_engineerGara_the_engineer In a log house at the edge of the forestPosts: 608 ✭✭✭

    "I think I'm still in love with my ex. I've recently started consistently talking to him again and it's brought back so many amazing feelings that I can't even begin to explain and I think that he feels the connection again too. Talking to him again has made me the happiest I've felt in months, but also the saddest. I can't help but think about every possible terrible thing that may happen if I fully open myself up to him again and I'm just torn between trying to be with him or trying to remain friends (which is not something I can do very well considering how I strongly I feel about him). I could have easily seen myself marrying him one day and the way we broke up a few years ago was not up to either of us, so I haven't had much closure and the feelings for him have stuck with me. It would be an easier decision if I didn't already have a boyfriend. I've been dating this guy for a year and a half and I love him to death. He's the most caring and amazing guy I have ever met and I don't know where I would be without him but he's also very manipulative at times and I often get scared he's going to physically hurt me again. He makes me crazy happy most of the time I'm around him but I don't know that I can stay with him. My ex currently lives in another state (so I wouldn't be able to be physically with him for another few years) but my boyfriend is here and I'm not sure if I want to wait that long for happiness or stay in the relationship I'm currently in."

    It's always hard to stand with choices to make and not knowing where they'll lead. Being the person I am, I tend to wait things out as much as possible, see where my feelings lead and where things lead for a long time before taking any kind of action or making any decision. I don't know if it'd be a good or bad idea in your case, so I can't give you any advice there. I do however wonder about your current boyfriend: you say he's manipulative sometimes, and have physically hurt you in the past? That isn't a behaviour that'd be good for you to be around. Instinctively, I'd want to tell you not to be with a person who does that, but I guess you wouldn't listen to that anyway... But people shouldn't be allowed to manipulate you, nor should they hurt you. I assume it's more complicated that just that, it usually is and you also say he really makes you happy. So I wonder if you think it's something he could change? Like if the two of you went to couple therapy or if you and him in some other way could find a way for him to change that part of his behaviour?
    Also, I totally understand your reluctance regarding the distance between you and your ex. Long distances suck when you're in a relationship. I've been there, done that, survived it and am still together with that person, but those years so far from each other was really tough at times. In general, I would only recommend long distance relationships if you really think it's worth it.
    When it comes to decisions in general, it can be a good idea to phrase relevant questions regarding your situation. Like: What possible outcomes would there be if you told your ex about your feelings? What would be good with those outcomes, what would be bad, and what wouldn't be either? You say you could easily see yourself marrying your ex, can you see that with your current boyfriend too? Which one of them makes you most happy today? Which one would make you most happy ten years from now? And so on.
    It's not simple, you probably won't find the answer to what to do as soon as you've asked yourself those kind of questions, and perhaps not even when you've answered them. But thinking of such questions, thinking of the answers or possible answers, may give you some hint if there's one choice that you prefer over the other.
    I hope you'll be doing okay, whatever you choose.
    The meaning of life is to give life a meaning
  • Gara_the_engineerGara_the_engineer In a log house at the edge of the forestPosts: 608 ✭✭✭

    "I had sex with a girl on summer camp and nobody else knows. I'm worried that she's gonna say something to her mom who is say something to my mom."

    Maybe she'd say something, maybe not. I don't know how her mom and your mom would react to such a thing, and I don't know how old you and the girl is either so I don't know how much reason they'd have to react. But some people take sex a bit too seriously, as if it'd define your whole life and define who you are. It's just a thing you do, not something to get upset about. A very intimate thing to do, yes, but still not something others should get upset about. So remember that no matter whether your mom gets to know or not, and no matter whether she gets upset about it or not: as long as the sex was consensual, you've done nothing wrong.
    The meaning of life is to give life a meaning
  • RialVestroRialVestro Posts: 6,271 ✭✭✭

    "@Gara_the_engineer when I am having troubles I often post in Anonymous Confessions, and just about every time either you or @RialVestro has responded. You two have helped me through some of the most confusing times I have had in the last couple years, without even knowing who I was. People like you guys are the greatest, you both have fought to decrease the worldsuck in my life and I can't thank you enough for that."

    I have conflicting opinions about this with myself...

    On one hand I don't feel like I need recognition for helping people. I think that's just something people should do anyway not just to make themselves look good. In this way I don't feel like you even needed to write this.

    On the other hand I often feel like what I do doesn't really make a difference or if it did, like I messed up and only made things worse instead of better. I don't really feel like my life means anything if I don't leave this world a better place than when I came into it. In this way it's actually kind of nice to know I did make a difference for the better.

    So thanks for that.
    Ni, peng, nee-wom! Ecky, ecky, ecky, pakang, zoom-ping! Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong!
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "Instead of typing in a bunch of crap about my problems I'm just going to say that sometimes it doesn't seem like it is worth it to try, not because what I am working towards isn't the most amazing thing I could imagine right now, but because it feels so unlikely. I can put my all into it but when another person is involved that isn't always enough, and it doesn't seem like it ever will be. When it seems like she doesn't care anymore it just seems to be too much. I guess I'm just here so somebody might tell me that I shouldn't give up, that I should give it my all and if that isn't enough then there is nothing I can do but try. But I have heard that before, I have heard the other side too, that it is just time for me to give up. I don't want to give up, giving up would be giving up on happiness at least for a period of time, but continuing forward seems like it will just be a long and painful journey that isn't even a sure deal. I guess I promised I wouldn't give up again so I have to keep trying, but how can I keep that promise forever, how does one go forever without letting the feelings inside them fade one little bit, how is that even possible? Though I on the good days the feelings surge to all new levels. It is a battle inside me between the most terrible pain and overwhelming joy. I suppose if I give up I lose the joy and not the pain though. Does that mean I just try to soldier on and see how it goes though? I think that is all I can do, just wait and see what happens."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • MontannaPeachMontannaPeach Posts: 1,738 ✭✭✭

    "Instead of typing in a bunch of crap about my problems I'm just going to say that sometimes it doesn't seem like it is worth it to try, not because what I am working towards isn't the most amazing thing I could imagine right now, but because it feels so unlikely. I can put my all into it but when another person is involved that isn't always enough, and it doesn't seem like it ever will be. When it seems like she doesn't care anymore it just seems to be too much. I guess I'm just here so somebody might tell me that I shouldn't give up, that I should give it my all and if that isn't enough then there is nothing I can do but try. But I have heard that before, I have heard the other side too, that it is just time for me to give up. I don't want to give up, giving up would be giving up on happiness at least for a period of time, but continuing forward seems like it will just be a long and painful journey that isn't even a sure deal. I guess I promised I wouldn't give up again so I have to keep trying, but how can I keep that promise forever, how does one go forever without letting the feelings inside them fade one little bit, how is that even possible? Though I on the good days the feelings surge to all new levels. It is a battle inside me between the most terrible pain and overwhelming joy. I suppose if I give up I lose the joy and not the pain though. Does that mean I just try to soldier on and see how it goes though? I think that is all I can do, just wait and see what happens."

    I have no advice for you because I've been going through the same thing. How do you know when you should keep trying and when you should give up? I'm not sure that's an answerable question. I wish it was. I don't know about your situation, but I ended up trying too hard and forgot to consider the other person's feelings. But then when I finally stopped trying, things got better. So you can't know what's going to happen. You just have to do what you think is right and see what happens. And adjust accordingly. If that makes any sense.
    "I'll be a story in your head. That's okay. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"


    Check out the new nerdfighter zine: http://thegreenlightzine.wix.com/home
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "Hey, the thing that is currently (at the time of typing this) the last post in Anon Confessions was written by me, and the situation changed and all of the power to decide was taken from me, and I think that is what needed to happen. This isn't the first time I have been in this thread after this girl and I changed our relationship status, it isn't even the second. She is just my friend once again. Last time I did the wrong thing and left her life for a while, which could have ended up being forever pretty easily considering the entirety of our relationship has taken place online. This time I won't do that though, we will still be friends and that is what we both want. Neither of us can stand the thought of not being in the others life and really I know at least I could use a close friend who cares deeply about my well being. This is hard though and I know it shouldn't be easy. What makes it so hard is the situation though, just that the distance has always made it so hard for her, and then with other things in her life she can't do it. I want to hate her for it but really I completely understand, last time we both went crazy, and I doubt I could handle it. Neither of us are in the best mental health and neither of us are medicated for it, that situation is currently in the only state it really can be. Us loving each other really is how this is legitimized, because neither of us want to hurt the other or see ourselves end up doing what we have both almost done before. But for now we are just friends and though we both know it is unlikely we are still hoping for maybe someday, because maybe someday things will be able to work between us, if we are living closer together and able to be like normal people we can try, but that is maybe someday. Those words are already starting to mean a lot to me, it an ideal situation that probably won't happen, but we will both probably live to have happy lives and I know that her being happy is what truly matters to me and I will do everything I can to make her happy when I can but I have to except I can't be what she needs right now. That hurts a lot to admit, and it hurts at night when I say goodnight, and I can't tell her how much I wish that I could be sleeping next to her, it all hurts so much but that is just how I know it is real, and I guess that has to be good enough. Maybe someday, a phrase that will never be good enough but must suffice. How will I get through this? I have no idea, I just keep moving forward, if I have made it this far I can keep going."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • Gara_the_engineerGara_the_engineer In a log house at the edge of the forestPosts: 608 ✭✭✭

    "Hey, the thing that is currently (at the time of typing this) the last post in Anon Confessions was written by me, and the situation changed and all of the power to decide was taken from me, and I think that is what needed to happen. This isn't the first time I have been in this thread after this girl and I changed our relationship status, it isn't even the second. She is just my friend once again. Last time I did the wrong thing and left her life for a while, which could have ended up being forever pretty easily considering the entirety of our relationship has taken place online. This time I won't do that though, we will still be friends and that is what we both want. Neither of us can stand the thought of not being in the others life and really I know at least I could use a close friend who cares deeply about my well being. This is hard though and I know it shouldn't be easy. What makes it so hard is the situation though, just that the distance has always made it so hard for her, and then with other things in her life she can't do it. I want to hate her for it but really I completely understand, last time we both went crazy, and I doubt I could handle it. Neither of us are in the best mental health and neither of us are medicated for it, that situation is currently in the only state it really can be. Us loving each other really is how this is legitimized, because neither of us want to hurt the other or see ourselves end up doing what we have both almost done before. But for now we are just friends and though we both know it is unlikely we are still hoping for maybe someday, because maybe someday things will be able to work between us, if we are living closer together and able to be like normal people we can try, but that is maybe someday. Those words are already starting to mean a lot to me, it an ideal situation that probably won't happen, but we will both probably live to have happy lives and I know that her being happy is what truly matters to me and I will do everything I can to make her happy when I can but I have to except I can't be what she needs right now. That hurts a lot to admit, and it hurts at night when I say goodnight, and I can't tell her how much I wish that I could be sleeping next to her, it all hurts so much but that is just how I know it is real, and I guess that has to be good enough. Maybe someday, a phrase that will never be good enough but must suffice. How will I get through this? I have no idea, I just keep moving forward, if I have made it this far I can keep going."

    "Maybe someday" is tough having to live with, to not be able to know for sure when the thing is so important to you. But it's also something to hang on to, a little piece of hope when today feels hopeless. Because there are many "maybes" that have actually happened "someday". There is only one thing we can be sure about the future: things will change. We do not know what things, or whether they'll change to better or worse or just different, but there will be things changing. And in that certainty lies reason for hope: the "maybe someday" lies within the possibilities. I don't know the rest of your situation, so it's hard to say anything for sure, but if you happen to still be in school, I can at least tell you this: it's easier to move after finishing school (whether you're moving to your college town after finishing high school, or to a place where you can find a job after whichever school you've finished), because then you're already at the "starting something new" position in life, and moving far from home can be a natural part of that. I've moved twice if you count only the main ones, more times if you count my temporary moves to live in a certain town for a few months and then move back, and while moving takes a bit of planning and you need a way to support yourself financially at the new place, it's not like you have to plan a moon landing. And even if you've got a stable life with a job and a permanent place to live, you could still move although it'd mean a larger change.
    Something that could be good to think of is the possibilities of the how, when and where that would make a life together possible. You don't need to solve these questions neither today or anytime soon, but it can be a good idea to look into the different opportunities and possibilities that may exist, and see which ones that seem appealing or acceptable to you, and what you'd have to do to make them happen.
    I hope things will turn out well for you, even if it takes time. My husband and I moved together three years ago, and we've been together for eight. Some things are worth waiting for, even when the waiting sucks. My best wishes to you!
    The meaning of life is to give life a meaning
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I've got this problem. See, the problem is, I have no problems. But- plot twist- I still have depression. I used to have really hard classes and no social skills and religion-associated angst and all sorts of other problems, and I used to cry over them and self-harm a little. That made sense. Now, my classes are easier, I have enough friends, my religion is settled for now, and everything is going great. Still, though, I cry a lot, and while self-harm is rarer now, it's still very present. To make it even worse, I can't complain. Complaining is a sort of therapy, and it always made me feel better, but now every complaint turns into a humble brag because my life is going so freaking perfect. There's no solution to this issue, because it isn't really an issue. I just wanted to say this somewhere where no one will roll their eyes at me and/or get confused."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • Gara_the_engineerGara_the_engineer In a log house at the edge of the forestPosts: 608 ✭✭✭

    "I've got this problem. See, the problem is, I have no problems. But- plot twist- I still have depression. I used to have really hard classes and no social skills and religion-associated angst and all sorts of other problems, and I used to cry over them and self-harm a little. That made sense. Now, my classes are easier, I have enough friends, my religion is settled for now, and everything is going great. Still, though, I cry a lot, and while self-harm is rarer now, it's still very present. To make it even worse, I can't complain. Complaining is a sort of therapy, and it always made me feel better, but now every complaint turns into a humble brag because my life is going so freaking perfect. There's no solution to this issue, because it isn't really an issue. I just wanted to say this somewhere where no one will roll their eyes at me and/or get confused."

    The thing is that depression is not only a result of different factors in life, sometimes it's just that the chemistry of the brain happens to be in an unfortunate balance where negative feelings prevail and positive feelings slip away. Depression is not only the result of circumstances, it's a disease. Just like any other partly-genetics-partly-life-and-lifestyle-factors kind of disease, it's hard to tell where it stems from and whether or not it'll get better when things around you get better. I would encourage you to talk to someone professional about it, maybe even your school has someone? And know that you're not alone, there are many who has seemingly good or perfect lives that still faces the blackness and meaningless of it all. It's a PIZZZAA sneaky disease, depression. Don't let it tell you that you're not allowed to feel bad just because your life factors are good. Your feelings still happen, they're still valid.
    The meaning of life is to give life a meaning
  • sackclothandaisiessackclothandaisies What does this do? texasPosts: 406 ✭✭✭
    @Gara_the_engineer I just want to say thank you to you, because you are one of the only people that actually know how to help us, and you always do
    Tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
  • Gara_the_engineerGara_the_engineer In a log house at the edge of the forestPosts: 608 ✭✭✭
    @sackclothandaisies Thank you. It's always hard to know if one's words do any good, especially when you can't see the person's reaction, so it's good to hear that I've done something good at least in some cases. So thank you for saying that.
    The meaning of life is to give life a meaning
  • sackclothandaisiessackclothandaisies What does this do? texasPosts: 406 ✭✭✭
    @Gara_the_engineer your welcome, I just wanted to know you are appreciated
    Tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "IT WAS US WHO ATE YOUR DOG. IT DID NOT RUN AWAY. NPR."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "Trump is objectively awful but I like the idea of Trump as President and Congress refusing to work with him more than I like Hillary."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I'm a compulsive liar. I've started to correct myself immediately when I lie though. I feel guilty because I didn't say goodbye to my dad properly the night he passed away. I also feel guilty because it is hard to remember the parts of his life when he was healthy and it is easy to remember the parts when he was sick."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "That awkward moment when you get a message from your ex-girlfriend saying "I'm sorry but your thing don't work" and you think she's talking about your penis."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • VioletMVioletM A hobbit hole with mezzanine in the centre of the CosmosPosts: 5
    I went through a bad time a few years back when I was going through diagnosis for suspected brain tumours. Got a scan back and was given bad news (trying to be positive before hand I asked if I could have one swear if it was bad news. Said completely in jest at the time. It wasn't a small swear on the day.) It was upsetting, for me and my mum who was there at the time, but I decided not to make the diagnosis the be all and end all-I wanted to know what was the next steps, if I'd need to arrange stuff for School. I'd started crying, not massive but still, crying, and my mum began telling the doctor that I was upset since the same had happened to my dad. It brought me up short. At this moment in time, when I'd been given some frankly PIZZZAA news (so had my mum but it isn't quite the same) she had overridden and begun to make assumptions which, yes is understandable since now two of her loved ones had been given very similar diagnoses, made me feel like the next door neighbour rather than the patient. It annoyed me. It made me sad. It made me feel like I was being painted with the same brush of defeatism that was the result of witnessing my dads prolonged and deterioating condition culminating in his death following all kinds of ineffective treatment. I didn't want to be treated differently, or to be spoken for, I still don't; I know what and how I'm feeling better than anyone else, but I felt dismissed. Since then I've been slowly distancing myself without even realising, and I'm not too sure that I'm fussed by it. Maybe I should be but with all the crap that came along I began to realise that not much of my family tried to get to know me. I feel more comfortable alone or with limited contact now, and I think I should be sad for that. But I'm not.
  • Gara_the_engineerGara_the_engineer In a log house at the edge of the forestPosts: 608 ✭✭✭
    @VioletM That's tough news to get. I hope it's something they can do something about, at least. Having stuff in your brain that shouldn't be there is a scary thing indeed. It is scary enough to have someone you love getting a brain tumour, but that's not an excuse for inconsiderate behaviour.

    Your mum sounds like she haven't grown up with her parenting enough to realize that you're not a tiny-sized extension of herself anymore, but truly a person she has to get to know, not one she automatically knows just because she has seen you daily for so long time. People change all throughout life, but especially so in young years, and if you want to know a person, you have to actively keep up in keeping to know the person. That's the key to all good relationships (be they platonic or romantic), to grow and change together and putting effort in keeping the relationship work. I hope you have other people in your life who listens to you and makes effort to know you well.
    The meaning of life is to give life a meaning
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "Dad committed suicide. People want me to imagine the world complexly but PIZZZAA that. Committing suicide and leaving a 16 year old in charge of 2 kids after mom died, means that you are an irresponsible fucktard. No imaginging the world complexly. PIZZZAA that. My sisters need me more than ever."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I'm a junior in high school and I haven't had my first kiss yet even though I had a boyfriend for about a year and a half. I feel really uncomfortable because everyone around me seems to be on board with modern hookup culture but I just don't seem to get it. It makes it even worse because as my closest friends have been drawn into this hookup culture, I have been losing all of my friends. It's been really sad because I still have another year and a half of high school left and I don't know what to do if all of my friends have deserted me already."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • RialVestroRialVestro Posts: 6,271 ✭✭✭

    "I'm a junior in high school and I haven't had my first kiss yet even though I had a boyfriend for about a year and a half. I feel really uncomfortable because everyone around me seems to be on board with modern hookup culture but I just don't seem to get it. It makes it even worse because as my closest friends have been drawn into this hookup culture, I have been losing all of my friends. It's been really sad because I still have another year and a half of high school left and I don't know what to do if all of my friends have deserted me already."

    Speaking from personal experience, if your "friends" are only there for you when they're single and abandon you whenever they're dating, they're not your friends. One of my best friends did this to me when we were kids. At the time I didn't think anything of it but as I got older I realized that having a relationship doesn't mean you get to completely abandon your friends. It's OK if they want to be alone some times but if you're never around them together then don't even bother trying to reconnect after they break up. It's not worth it.

    Plus that same friend cheated and I never noticed cause till he got married and had kids I never really saw him with his girlfriends in school. Not enough to realize he dated multiple girls at the same time anyway. And the few times I did almost catch him his excuse was that the girl I thought he was dating he broke up with.

    If they are really your friends they'll make time for both of you... which can also be uncomfortable being single and hanging out with a couple but it's better than having a friend who's never around.

    Ni, peng, nee-wom! Ecky, ecky, ecky, pakang, zoom-ping! Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong!
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I am very much in love with one of my girl friends. I am a girl, and I would be content to just spending more time with her, yet she studies all the time and I can't seem to the courage of inviting her out, her and her alone, for something friendly. I believe she is straight. I am also 17, have never been kissed by anyone, and believe I might be asexual and biromantic. Ugh. Loving her feels good, but being jealous of and away from her doesn't"
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • Gara_the_engineerGara_the_engineer In a log house at the edge of the forestPosts: 608 ✭✭✭

    "Dad committed suicide. People want me to imagine the world complexly but PIZZZAA that. Committing suicide and leaving a 16 year old in charge of 2 kids after mom died, means that you are an irresponsible fucktard. No imaginging the world complexly. PIZZZAA that. My sisters need me more than ever."

    You have all the right to feel angry. I suppose people around you wants to be understanding towards your dad too, and they're of course allowed to be that, but they shouldn't push you to feel the same just because they feel that. Your feelings are valid and matter.
    The meaning of life is to give life a meaning
  • Gara_the_engineerGara_the_engineer In a log house at the edge of the forestPosts: 608 ✭✭✭

    "I'm a junior in high school and I haven't had my first kiss yet even though I had a boyfriend for about a year and a half. I feel really uncomfortable because everyone around me seems to be on board with modern hookup culture but I just don't seem to get it. It makes it even worse because as my closest friends have been drawn into this hookup culture, I have been losing all of my friends. It's been really sad because I still have another year and a half of high school left and I don't know what to do if all of my friends have deserted me already."

    I agree with what @RialVestro said, that if your "friends" stop spending time with you just because they have a partner, they were not real friends to start with. High school is a time when many are figuring life out, and generally the time when you start learning that you actually have to put in effort in your relations (platonic and romantic) to make them last. From what I have seen, it is very common that a person in high school forgets that other relations matter too, not just the intoxicating and all-encompassing feelings connected to a young romantic relation. There are hopefully other people worth befriending instead of the ones who apparently didn't understand the value of friendship.
    The meaning of life is to give life a meaning
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