The Apprentice: You're Fired!

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Comments

  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    You did not change your picture!!

    YOU'RE FIRED!

  • LacesareforTyingLacesareforTying CaliforniaPosts: 793 ✭✭✭
    Since when do I need to change my picture? You expect far far too much of me darling.

    YOU'RE FIRED!
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    Your low expectations rated are the cause this company is going down.

    YOU'RE FIRED!

  • IgnipotentIgnipotent Posts: 1,565 ✭✭✭
    I'm back from my paid vacation.

    YOU'RE FIRED!
    You'll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips.  Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, 
    but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, 
    a living, breathing, screaming invitation to believe better things.
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    I did not know that we gave paid vacations. 
    eventhough they are awesome

    YOU'RE FIRED

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    YOUR EYES ARE ASYMMETRICAL.

    YOU'RE FIRED.
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    You profile picture looks like a book that is on fire.
    Burning books does not fit within the mission, vision and strategy of this company and it also does not go along with our policies.

    Therefore,

    YOU'RE FIRED!

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    My profile picture is not of a burning book.
    Rather the picture is showing the Super Magical Book Power called Knowledge that books contain.  
    You are spreading misinformation about my profile picture.

    YOU'RE FIRED!
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    You replaced the oven we had that could handle 4 pizzas at the time with one that can only take one.
    This slows down orders and people are mad cause it takes ages before they get pizza

    YOU'RE FIRED
    (I wish I could do this in real life, stupid ovens that break) 

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    You have no proof that I did that.

    YOU'RE FIRED!
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    I HAVE PICTURES!

    Including one that shows that there was a fire or something burning under the old oven and that I had soo much luck working there and never having to deal with fire. 

    So for not dealing with a HUGE fire hazard

    YOU'RE STILL/AGAIN FIRED! 

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    I DIDN'T DO THAT.  MIKE FROM CUSTOMER SERVICE DID THAT BECAUSE HE'S ACTUALLY PART DEMON AND CAN ACCIDENTALLY SET STUFF ON FIRE JUST BY LOOKING AT IT.

    FOR FAILING TO PROVIDE APPROPRIATE ACCOMMODATIONS FOR MIKE FROM CUSTOMER SERVICE SO HE DOES NOT INJURE HIMSELF AND OTHERS,

    YOU'RE FIRED! 
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    Your hired a demon? How did you do that sucesfully and why did you not tell me.?He could've been relocated to a place where is abilities are super useful. Like in a bakery or where we burn all the new resumes that come in via Linkedin.

    So for failing to tell me that you hired a super awesome half demon

    YOU'RE FIRED!

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    I'VE SENT YOU LIKE 51 NOTICES ABOUT MIKE BUT YOU NEVER GOT BACK TO ME SO WHEN I FOLLOWED UP I FOUND THAT YOU WERE JUST USING THE NOTICES AS KINDLING FOR YOUR FIRE SO YOU CAN STAY ALIVE AT YOUR CAMP IN THE HARSH AND BARBARIC PLACE KNOWN AS THE EMPLOYEE BREAK ROOM, WHICH, FOR THE RECORD, WAS NOT MY FAULT YOU GOT STUCK THERE.  I WAS PLAYING FLAPPY BIRD AT THE TIME OF THE INCIDENT.

    ANYWAY, FOR CHOOSING SURVIVAL INSTEAD OF RESPONDING TO MY NOTICES, YOU'RE FIRED!
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    You were doing WHAT at work? PLAYING the most horrible game ever? FLAPPY BIRD!
    There is a clear policy for using your mobile device at work for personal stuff. Which is you can't!

    So for using your personal mobile device during work.

    YOU'RE FIRED!

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    Yes, but in addition to being a bakery, office that does who knows what, and lava pit to throw the no longer useful employees, we are also the company that makes and produces Flappy Bird (Told you we were evil).

    I was test-running version 2.0 of the game, now designed specifically for it to be impossible to make it past level 20.  It worked perfectly.

    Anyway, for your misinformed accusations,

    YOU'RE FIRED!
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    The new schedule has me working next week from 13.00 till 17.00 and from 20.00 till 24.00 on the same day. 
    WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IN THOSE 3 HOURS THAT I DON'T WORK? You know I don't live close to my job and this day will be a waste of gas and time for me.

    So for making a bad schedule that has people complaining for weeks

    YOU'RE FIRED!

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING- EATING CAKE!  IT IS THE ONLY THING YOU SHOULD BE DOING IN YOUR SPARE TIME.

    FOR NOT EATING CAKE,

    YOU'RE FIRED!
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    YOU FORGOT TO TELL ME THAT I HAVE TO WORK 1 HOUR LONGER TODAY. I FORGOT TO BRING EXTRA FOOD FOR THAT HOUR WHICH WAS DURING MY DINNER BREAK, WHICH LEFT ME HUNGRY AND GRUMPY AND MADE MY BIKE RIDE BACK HOME EVEN MORE HORRIBLE.

    THEREFORE 

    YOU'RE FIRED!

  • TrishaTrisha Posts: 298
    You are overly abusing the CAPITAL letters.

    You are fired!
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    Your authorisations are not complete!
    Therefore you can't work and if you can't work

    YOU'RE FIRED!
    (aka working at a bank, minus the firing part)

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    You cannot withhold information until after you have fired someone!
    Therefore, for putting information in parentheses after the words "you're fired..."

    YOU'RE FIRED!
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • FizzywaffleFizzywaffle Gainesville FLPosts: 132
    5 days have passed.

    You are now fired.

    "We can never be certain"-Me

  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    You know it takes 5 business days before any of my authorisations are put through, SO I CANT WORK NOW BECAUSE I CAN'T GET INTO THE SYSTEM. (true story)
    You expected too much of the IT persons/system, so

    You're fired

  • the_one_on_the_leftthe_one_on_the_left The top half of the longest undefended border in the worldPosts: 488 ✭✭
    You're projecting your problems and their consequences onto other people. Hereafter unto eternity

    you're fired, indubitably so.
    Am I smart? No idea. I believe I’m fairly knowledgeable and logical, a good substitute I hope.
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    You just held a discussion that did not reach a point because you disagree with the facts we told you.
    Could you just man up and ask some useful questions?

    Therefore You Are Fired!
    (Me in my head during a meeting at work)

  • the_one_on_the_leftthe_one_on_the_left The top half of the longest undefended border in the worldPosts: 488 ✭✭
    You took 8 MONTHS to respond!

    You're fired!
    Am I smart? No idea. I believe I’m fairly knowledgeable and logical, a good substitute I hope.
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