The Golden Sharpie

245

Comments

  • SANTA_ATE_CHICAGOSANTA_ATE_CHICAGO PennsylvaniaPosts: 2,637 ✭✭✭
    18th century sounds a bit too late for knights
    When is a door not a door? When someone steals the hinges.
  • NotAshamed4HimNotAshamed4Him Owl CityPosts: 540 ✭✭

    18th century sounds a bit too late for knights

    Well, then, 16th century...
    "If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can’t know better until knowing better is useless."

    --John Green, Looking For Alaska--

  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    After waiting 5 centuries I and my team of archyologist finaly find the golden sharpie that got lost in the 16th centruy

  • SANTA_ATE_CHICAGOSANTA_ATE_CHICAGO PennsylvaniaPosts: 2,637 ✭✭✭
    Little did you know, you hired me as your lead archaeologist. I run off to the Hague to seek refuge, convincing everyone that the people chasing me are actually committing a war crime.
    When is a door not a door? When someone steals the hinges.
  • NotAshamed4HimNotAshamed4Him Owl CityPosts: 540 ✭✭
    I don't believe you and send my secret police after you. They give me the Sharpie
    "If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can’t know better until knowing better is useless."

    --John Green, Looking For Alaska--

  • MorganTheSockNerdMorganTheSockNerd Somewhere in the WorldPosts: 63 ✭✭
    It turns out your secret police force is corrupted and they give you a false Sharpie, bringing the real one to me at mansion I had built in order to meet the Golden Sharpie's every need.
  • NotAshamed4HimNotAshamed4Him Owl CityPosts: 540 ✭✭
    The one thing you missed in the design of your house is a security system, and I sneak in like a ninja and steal the Sharpie like Indiana Jones

    "If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can’t know better until knowing better is useless."

    --John Green, Looking For Alaska--

  • SANTA_ATE_CHICAGOSANTA_ATE_CHICAGO PennsylvaniaPosts: 2,637 ✭✭✭
    However, than a pirate shows up, and a crowd gathers so you can prove once and for all whether pirates or ninjas are better. When you drop the sharpie so you can fight, I calmly pick it up and walk away.
    When is a door not a door? When someone steals the hinges.
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    edited August 2014
    However, one of the ninjas is a undercover cop, he noices you, steals the sharpie and gives it to me 
    by romy16

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    However, I am the pirate in question, and when your ninja cop gives it to you, you let down your guard for a second, deliver a left hook, and grab the sharpie.  I then jump on my pirate ship and sail to a deserted island.
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • RolloRollo Operative 6081, MiniTrue Airstrip Three, OceaniaPosts: 1,904 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2015
    Did you wonder why the island was deserted? Of course not; no one ever does. Until they discover that the island is inhospitable.

    You and your crew descend into a Lord of the Flies type arrangement; gradually killing each other, setting fire to the island and the rest dying off. Many years pass...

    One day, I arrive with a naval expedition team of three ships (the HMAS Rapscallion, HMAS Roustabout and the HMAS Bastard) and we steal the island through the cunning use of flags before depriving you of the Golden Sharpie and leaving you behind for the buzzards to peck at your flesh and sunbleached bones.

    We arrive back in Melbourne to a tickertape parade and are given the Keys to the City.
    by Rollo
    "I speak an infinite deal of nothing and I am not bound to please thee with my answers."

    I've written four books - you might like to buy them: Linky - Doobly Doo
  • SANTA_ATE_CHICAGOSANTA_ATE_CHICAGO PennsylvaniaPosts: 2,637 ✭✭✭
    However, I've coated the Keys in a mild sedative. When you go to sleep that night, you are asleep so heavily that I have no problem breaking in. I take the Golden Sharpie and retreat to a small town in the Pacific Northwest, where I lock the sharpie in a safe bolted to the floor and write short stories and drink coffee all day.
    When is a door not a door? When someone steals the hinges.
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2015
    But then i posion you coffee so you fall asleep. A small explotions makes the safe falls though all the floor into the sewers where a master lockpicker picks the lock, opens the door and gives the sharpie to me. Then I swim away with my old sewer rat friends.
    (much like the movie the Italian job)
    by romy16

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    But after everyone kills each other my corpse is washed out to sea, and then eventually makes its way to the sewer where I become a zombie because someone was dumping toxic waste in the sewer.  Zombie me catches you so by surprise that I grab the Sharpie right out of your hand, and then become Normal me because of the restorative power of the sharpie.
    I then jump on the spaceship Nacho Supreme (Bonus points if you have any idea why it's called that) and fly away to Kepler 452b, the nearest life-sustaining planet.
    Nacho Supreme can go .95 times the speed of light, so it only takes 460 years instead of 1400.
    My descendants get out, and slowly build a mighty civilization from nothing.
    Billions of years after I got on the spaceship, the Earth is living out its final days, while the (insert last name here) dynasty still has the golden sharpie.
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • SANTA_ATE_CHICAGOSANTA_ATE_CHICAGO PennsylvaniaPosts: 2,637 ✭✭✭
    Little did you know that the toxic waste had a hallucinogenic effect. You were never a zombie, and you never got the sharpie, although your descendants do start a colony on Kepler 452b. Meanwhile, I flood the sewer and grab the sharpie casually floating up in a storm drain. I tie it to myself under my clothes.
    When is a door not a door? When someone steals the hinges.
  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    BUT the colony a billion years from the future has both time travel and cloning technology.  They bring me back to life, use the time travel machine to send me back to that moment.  I use the non-metal-magnet my descendants have invented to bring the sharpie right into my hand.
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    However, my sewer rat friend steal the sharpie out of you hand, the moment the sharpie reaches it.

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    2 minutes later, the sewer rat dies, because I already explained that the sewer was full of radioactive waste.  I grab the sharpie from the dead rat's paw.
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    The toxic waste turns me into a superhero. So I fly up to you, steal the shapie and I fly to an tiny appartment somewhere in Beijing. Nobody knows where it is.

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    But along the way you breath in some of the pollution, and a year later you die from lung cancer.  While you never gave any specifics to your location, when it says that a superhero-cat-person has died I'm right over in a gas mask.
    I snatch up the sharpie, run over to the Sharpie factory, and throw it into the middle of a bin of 50 million other gold sharpies.
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • SANTA_ATE_CHICAGOSANTA_ATE_CHICAGO PennsylvaniaPosts: 2,637 ✭✭✭
    I was hiding in that bin. When you throw the sharpie, I catch it. The bin's top is high enough that you don't see me. I wait until you're gone, then return to my Pacific Northwest life, but this time I keep the sharpie in my hand at all times.
    When is a door not a door? When someone steals the hinges.
  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    However, when you fall asleep your hand goes limp, so when you order a shipment of Easy Cheese for your food I put sleeping powder into the cheese.  After you fall asleep I kick open the door and retrieve the sharpie.  After that, I use the time-travel device that I STILL HAVE to go back in time to the Jurassic period and throw the sharpie into a pool of magma, ensuring that you present day people will find it encased in rock, which itself is miles below the surface.
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • romy16romy16 The Netherlands Posts: 4,319 ✭✭✭
    Which we do on our quest to find more natural resources to use. After some people find it and put it into a museum. I steal it from the museum to discover that the Sharpie is still functional after I remove all the rock.

  • the_one_on_the_leftthe_one_on_the_left The top half of the longest undefended border in the worldPosts: 443
    The golden sharpie appears in my hand, after everyone else abandoned the rules to obtaining it.
    My heart is telling me that perhaps the world has not ended just yet.
  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    edited August 2015
    There WERE no rules to obtaining it except that it has to be a somewhat logical way of getting it, and having it just magically appear in your hand isn't logical.  It disappears out of your hand and back to Romy.
    Still being in the Jurassic period , I decide that this has gone far enough.  I engineer a strain of virus that is immediately fatal, but only to mammals.  Basically, I destroy advanced civilisation before it ever has a time to evolve, ensuring that I have it forever.
    (Oh, and I don't catch the disease because I'm sealed up in my quarantine pod.)
    by KGB_the_Russian_Spy
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • ZoaThePersonZoaThePerson Nevada, the land o' dirtPosts: 243 ✭✭
    Being in your quarantine pod, you didn't realize that I had been following you and created ANOTHER strain designed to infect your strain so that they are rendered harmless, except to others of their kind so all of your strain eventually becomes harmless. I then stole your time machine and soon find the sharpie because of this convenient log of everyone's whereabouts.
    We must bring back the interrobang. What's an interrobang‽ 
    What do you mean "what's an interrobang?" 
    ‽ < that's an interrobang. a grammatically correct alternative to "?!" or "!?"

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    But as you're creating the strain, I sneak out and grab the sharpie, replacing it with a regular black sharpie.  I then feed the real sharpie to an Apatosaurus.
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • ZoaThePersonZoaThePerson Nevada, the land o' dirtPosts: 243 ✭✭
    Ick, that apatosaurus's poop is NASTY, but I found the golden sharpie safe and sound in the middle of a large turd. The apatosaurus couldn't digest the hard plastic. I hug the golden sharpie after washing it; it is finally mine!
    We must bring back the interrobang. What's an interrobang‽ 
    What do you mean "what's an interrobang?" 
    ‽ < that's an interrobang. a grammatically correct alternative to "?!" or "!?"

  • KGB_the_Russian_SpyKGB_the_Russian_Spy The Actually Rather Divided States of AmericaPosts: 3,668 ✭✭✭
    However, I use the time machine to travel to the day you die and snatch it out of your hand.  You're too weak to stop me.
    "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"  ~Neil Gaiman
  • ZoaThePersonZoaThePerson Nevada, the land o' dirtPosts: 243 ✭✭
    Ah, but I have thought ahead and, while you were asleep, took both of us and the golden sharpie back to present day New York City. I then left you on the side walk somewhere and ran off.
    We must bring back the interrobang. What's an interrobang‽ 
    What do you mean "what's an interrobang?" 
    ‽ < that's an interrobang. a grammatically correct alternative to "?!" or "!?"

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