Never have I experienced such a daunting moment as viewing my “Submit Your Question!” button for the 2016 P4A Exclusive Dear Hank & John video.
I spent much of my adolescence being dumb… I was particularly dumb about reading… Like it took me reading the same sentence multiple times to grasp what information that sentence contained. But when I stumbled upon The Fault In Our Stars by John Green in 2014, I found a new love. His writing was in such a way that it felt more like a conversation to me, than a novel... His writing lead me to enjoy other author's writing like Maureen Johnson (via Let it Snow), and to just enjoy reading in general, gaining me a book collection that has my bookshelf busting at the seams and when my parental and life duties take me away from reading for too long I find a deep well of depression. For that, I want to thank John Green.
After becoming a serious fan of John Green books and wanting to know more, I also discovered Vlogbrothers, and that I had already seen Hank on a regular basis through my husband’s obsession with SciShow (which also contributed to making me less dumb). I have to say though that both Hank AND John are on my "guilt free three list." (I should specify that any happily married person like myself, Hank, or John for example, understands that the "guilt free three list" is purely a fun joke to show admiration for certain people - not an open agreement to cheat on each other if the opportunity arises -- that would never be okay.)
Unfortunately I have many flaws, not just a delayed reader flaw. I have a high level of “social” anxiety. My anxiety isn’t limited to real life “social” situations, but also includes online ones, oh and phone calls are especially gut-wrenching. (Though if John and/or Hank were to call me, I have to say I would get over my anxiety real fast to talk to them in real life – or at least I would have an extreme reason to want to get over it.) So this anxiety has kept me from approaching the Nerdfighter community. I have watched the player count on the Nerdfighteria Minecraft server, anxiously waiting for the player count to be 0 so I could safely check it out without fear. I have watched nerdfighter conversations, listened to nerdfighter stories and wished so desperately that I could be a vocal and active nerdfighter. But alas my anxiety has riddled me with fear of being too mediocre, lame, or un-nerdy to fit within the nerdfighter community – which I know is as ridiculous as it sounds, but that is anxiety for you.
So here I am with this opportunity to ask Hank and John absolutely anything, and I am frozen. I am like the deer caught in the headlights, unsure of what move to make next. I get one question – that they may or may not even answer, and I am so afraid of screwing it up (thanks anxiety), that I am stressing (and exciting!!) myself almost to an absurd degree of stress.
So I suppose this stress is crushing my anxiety enough for me to FINALLY reach out and ask the nerdfighter community a question; is there even a question they haven’t been asked already?
NOTE: Hitting "Post Discussion" is the most nauseating thing I've done in a while, and took over a day to do... So if my responses are slow - blame my old foe, Anxiety.